Wednesday, July 3, 2013

A look from the outside

After four years, I'm finally out.
I graduated high school on June 6th, 2013.
My best friend Sara and I on graduation night
I remember the first day of freshman year, specifically. I remember the shirt I wore. I remember how scared I was on the first day. 
I remember a boy a year older than me sat down next to me on the bus, a kid I now work in the same place with today, who kindly teased me all through high school and still does today. 
"Could you get any farther away from me?" he laughed as I practically attached myself to the wall of the bus in the seat I was in. 
"I'm not trying to be," I stuttered, "I-I'm just nervous. First day and everything, ya know."
He chuckled lightly at me, "Don't be." 

The truth was, the reasons why I was nervous, he was right, I shouldn't have been at all. 
The fact is, with high school, you don't know what's coming to you so you can't really be nervous about it. 

High school, for me, was something that I never expected. It changed me in ways that I cannot even fathom. I've had experiences that have molded me into the person that I am today. I'm still working on accepting myself for who I am, but I think I'm on the right track. 

I'm going to tell you all this from experience-
Freshman year always sucks. 

My freshman year was a year in hell for multiple reasons. And everyone I've talked to about their freshman years, theirs sucked too. 
So, if you are about to be a freshman, expect it to suck. I'm not saying this to discourage you at all. If you have a great freshman year, kudos to you. But I'm saying, don't expect it to be all rainbows and sunshine, because it won't be.  Freshman year is a huge transition in your life, academically and socially. You're going to meet so many new people you can't even imagine. Some will be good to you and some will be not so good to you. You just have to decide which ones you let effect you. 

If you just finished your freshman year of high school and it did suck, congratulations. You've passed the test. 
Blogging has helped me pass the test. The summer between freshman and sophomore year was when I found this wonderful community and I haven't left since. Taken breaks, yes, but I always come back.

Sophomore year for me was nothing exciting, but it wasn't nearly as bad as freshman year. I did lose my best friend that year, but that's just what happens. You drift from people you thought you'd be close with your whole life.
Sophomore year was the easiest year for me academically, but that's just me. I became the editor of the school newspaper that year and did some professional journalism work around my town and city. That was exciting but the school year itself was just, eh. I was a bit of a loner.

Well, I hope you enjoyed sophomore year because junior year,  buckle your seat belt.  
Junior year, for most everyone that I've heard from, is the most academically challenging year. This happens because this is the year you need to specifically care about your grades so they look good for college applications (SO ANNOYING.) My advice to all people going to junior year, DO. NOT. PROCRASTINATE. YOU WILL REGRET IT AND IT WILL SUCK. MAYBE EVEN MORE THAN YOUR FRESHMAN YEAR DID. 
My junior year was tough academically and socially. It was a very life changing year in many aspects and I am thankful for it in the end. I posted a lot junior year and if you've been an active reader of mine, you may know why.

Now, the icing on the cake-
S E N I O R  Y E A R
Everyone always brags about how senior year is like the slack year. You don't have to care, the grades don't matter, it's your last year in that hell hole of a school... blah blah blah. 

I'm here to tell you, with my personal senior year, that is the biggest lie in the history of the world. 
My senior year was so hard academically, it smashed junior year into a hole and buried it. 
My problem is, I'm a nerd and I care way too much. I challenged myself with difficult classes while having a job and participating in multiple extracurricular activities, and my social life began to flourish like it never had before.
All of this together with my difficult classes just didn't clash well, and I suffered. Major time.
I had to stop blogging. (January to July)
I had to stop reading for pleasure, all together.
That was what killed me the most.

It's hard to decide what to keep and what to cut when you have a lot going on, and unfortunately I chose those two things, and I really shouldn't have.
I'll post about the flourishing social life eventually, because that's a novel in itself.  But, for later.

If you care too much about your grades like me, be careful your senior year. If you're involved in a lot and have a flourishing social life, do not challenge yourself to the extremes with your classes because you will not choose school first. 
People always talk about this little thing called Senioritis. 
Let me tell you.
After you get that acceptance letter from college and commit to a college, YOU'RE DONE FOR IT.
Well, that's a little lie.
I committed to Penn State in October 2012. My Senioritis didn't hit me full blast until March/ April 2013.
So, I had a little time. But, I'm an extraordinary case. Most people, it comes way earlier.
So please, all upcoming seniors, be careful. You think you won't catch Senioritis?
Yeah, think again, neither did I.

Because of the extracurriculars and the social life I had my senior year, it was my favorite year of high school.
It changed me in ways that I never expected, and I'll be posting about that eventually.

But then, you graduate. 
Except what you let matter. 

All those stupid people I went to school with? Haven't seen them since June 6th. Don't ever plan to again. 
Those grades I was so worried about? That's over with. I did fine. I was accepted to college the whole time, I don't even know why I stressed so much.
Those people I worried about impressing? Gone.
All that drama? Gone.  

My point in all this is, high school is a huge learning experience. It will tear you apart and break you down at times, but it will also fix you again. 
High school is something that everyone needs to experience because it makes you who you are

High school is not constant rainbows and sunshine, but a long, raging storm that sometimes lets the sun shine through, and then, it ends

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billyBobjoe said...

This seems to be exactly my high school experience so far. I just finished Jr year, complete with health problems. I hate having to focus more on eating and sleeping then those coming naturally and being able to read and watch telly. However, my social life was nonexistent before, and now I have a gang I love that loves me back, al it's all okay.

Amaranthine said...

Wow, what a great post! I remember coming on here when you first started your blog and following you all this surreal. I hope you can blog about your new college experience for those of us who are curious!

Paige said...

@BillyBobjoe- I give you props girl. You're probably one of the strongest people ever, dealing with health problems and school all at the same time. So, kudos to you. I
m glad you have a gang now! We all need one of those. Thanks so much for reading and commenting!

@Amaranthine- Dear, I love you so much you don't even get it. Thank you for being the most loyal and wonderful follower ever. Thanks so much for reading and commenting, it means so much. I will be posting about college, don't you worry!