Reflections

Today was my last day of Junior year.
And now, I'm officially a Senior in high school.
Holy. Crap.

I should be like this-

But instead I'm like this- 

The most academically challenging year of my high school career has finally come to an end. And don't get me wrong, I'm SO happy about that. This year was really tough on me work wise. Part of it though was my lack of motivation and slacking off. This year I slacked off more than ever before. I can't let that happen again.

It's not that I couldn't do the work, I just didn't want to.

#QueenOfProcrastination.

But, for the most part, my grades were pretty decent. This fourth nine weeks, I am pretty sure I am getting the highest GPA in all of my high school career so far. But second nine weeks... I hit the very bottom...*shudders*

Finals weren't as bad as I expected them to be. I was very sure I was going to fail Chemistry, Trigonometry/Precalculus, and Spanish, but I didn't fail any of them! (I don't know about math, haven't got that one back yet, but I don't think I failed!)

I am so glad Chemistry is over.

That subject made me want to jump off a cliff. 

For more reasons than one. 

THAT WAS SO ME TODAY/ ALL YEAR! 

I physically and emotionally just COULD NOT pay attention in that class! The teacher was monotone and extremely boring and he hated me.

Why?

Because I didn't pay attention!

Why didn't I pay attention?

Because the material sucked. It was extremely hard and just not my forte! I am an English nerd, thank you. 

There's more of a reason why I didn't pay attention in that class, and if you've paid attention to older posts you can probably figure out why. *sigh*.

I swore that I was going to fail that final, but thank the lord by some miracle, I didn't. 

And somehow by some crazy chance, I got a low A in there for the fourth nine weeks!

And a low B for the year! 

I feel pretty proud of myself, considering I slacked off in that class more than I ever did in any other class in my life. 

Then for English..

That Senior paper.. holy crap.. that thing made me want to commit suicide. 

After four long, rigorous weeks of work on that 9 page long paper, I managed to get an A on it.

I wanted to do cartwheels down the hall. And I got an A in the class third and fourth nine weeks too! I am so proud! I love English and Grammar so much. 

My other 6 classes were just mildly difficult, nothing to brag about. 

My advice to Juniors of the future...

DON'T. SLACK. OFF. YOU WILL REGRET IT!

Don't be like this! My new year's resolution for 2012 was actually to STOP PROCRASTINATING and you know what I told myself?

"I'll start eventually."

I'm not even joking. 

Junior year is very important too. Because it's pretty much your last chance to make good grades since colleges don't really look at senior year grades.

THANK GOD.

Just kidding, I'm not going to slack off next year.

Maybe.

...

But, even though the material of this year was harder than ever before, this was my favorite year of high school so far. 

Freshman year was the worst. That year was just complete hell for personal reasons. I lost pretty much all my self confidence and inner sparkle and happiness after that year was over. Even one of my teacher's told me during sophomore year that I just wasn't the same, not as happy. 

And I wasn't. At all. I'd completely been changed. 

"I think everyone feels lost at times during their high school years."- Linda Cardellini

Sophomore year was just okay. It was a year of emotionally rebuilding myself. Trying to search for my identity, which I really lost sight of. I lost my best friend sophomore year, and I haven't succeeded to find another best friend like her. I miss her. The material of sophomore year was pretty easy though. I had good grades all year. 

"Hollywood is just like high school. The popular people only like the other popular people. And the thing is, some people aren't nice - or they're nice, but only to your face, not elsewhere."- Amanda Seyfried

This year, I have to say, I sincerely liked. A lot of dreams came true. I made some true friends this year and I think I finally discovered who I am as a person, and I really like that person. 

I've gained some self confidence back. 

I've had a lot of experiences this year that I never thought I'd have. Some of them good, some of them bad. But they all taught me something. The bad ones made me stronger even though it sounds cheesy. They helped me define myself and discover what I like in another person. And I feel like I'll keep defining myself even further next year. 

I've done some things that I regret. But now I know not to do them again. 

I think I've really defined my morals and values this year. I learned what a true friend is and I think I may have made some. 

I've loved and lost this year. I've been hurt and heartbroken. 

But even though I hate to accept it, it was for the best.

God knew that boy wasn't right for me.

He did me a favor by ending us, I just didn't see it until now because I was too blinded.

I'm slowly starting to see clearly again. And it has been painful but it's all taught me something. And made me afraid, too. But hopefully next time I won't let those memories haunt me. 

Even though that boy makes me angry when I see his face and I kinda want to punch him and just cry, he taught me a lot too. He taught me what I DON'T want in a guy, and he also he also helped me break out of my shell and discover the real me. I didn't have to hide myself around him, which I still appreciate.

I hope I can someday find someone who I can feel that way with again. 

This year leaves a lot of memories for me, some I look back on and smile, and some I look back on and want to cry. But it's okay, because in the end, I enjoyed every second of it. 

On some lighter things that happened this year, I got my learner's permit in September, I started a high school Dance Team, I got an iPhone (which I love to death), I was a part of the school musical, I changed my career path, and I got my Driver's license on June 1st! 

I'm so happy about my license! The test was pretty easy but the guy who tested me was a complete jerk. 

I drove myself some places in the past few days. I'm literally in shock. 

I changed my career path because I don't really think I want to be a journalist anymore. I love to write, but the kind of journalism that I'd want to do is in NYC and that's too hard...

I love English, Grammar, and Books, so I think I want to be an English teacher. The only problem with that is it's super hard to get a teaching job in my state right now. 

So I don't know what I'll do. 

I still want to be an author, but you need a starting career first. 

And now, I'm a senior. I'm excited but also scared. I have to start applying to colleges and all that jazz.. oh gosh.

Even though I hate most of the people in my class, I'll be sad to leave high school life. It's everything I know. And dance. I'll have to leave my dance academy.. oh gosh. Can't cry yet... still a year left. 

2013: Because the world won't end in 2012

Fine, Fresh and F13rce.


13ring it on.


As for summer though, it's going to be pretty boring. I'll be doing a lot of reading, blogging, watching TV, swimming, and definitely sleeping. Hopefully writing too. 
You'll be seeing more of me on here definitely. 
Now, here's some funny videos to end this personal post. If you've read this far, I love you.