Tuesday, August 28, 2012

A New Chapter

Today is 8-28.
The title of this blog.
And just like that, I'm another year older.
I graduate on June 6th, 2013.

I started my senior year today. And honestly it's really hard to believe. It's my last first day of school, well, regular school anyway.
I'm still in shock that I'm even 17. I started this blog right after I turned 15.
I have my driver's license now and have a car that is sorta kinda mine.
I'll be applying to colleges in the next few weeks.
I'm happy I'm growing up, but I'm sad at the same time too.

The past year was really life changing for a ton of reasons. I'm still dealing with things with different people. I'm not proud of the way I'm acting. I'm becoming someone I never wanted to be. But I'm too scared to hurt people to change it.

I think high school is just a huge learning experience. It ruins you, but in a good way I think. I'm a lot different and more tough than I was when I walked through that door as a freshman. I think if I looked at myself now from those innocent freshman eyes of mine, I wouldn't even know myself.

It's scary how fast people can change. But in high school, you have to change to survive.

My old friends who I still speak to today even noticed it. They said I'm not as nice to people as I used to be and I don't let people walk all over me anymore. Which is good. But scary, too.

I think I finally found who I am as a person. I'm just having a hard time accepting it.
So a new chapter began today. If it's anything like the last chapter, it should be a huge roller coaster.

I realized a lot about friends. I realized there are people there for me and people who care about me, even if it doesn't seem like it a lot of times.
My confidence has grown some. Which has taken years to do. So I'm proud.

I wanted to post this summer but I really just didn't know what to post about, to be honest. No one really cares about this blog, so these upcoming posts will be more for my emotional sake. But if you care enough to read them, then that's great. Go crazy.

I hope the new chapter's of your lives will go great. Happy new school year to everyone.

If you're having a tough time, I promise you, it will get better. I know from experience.







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6 comments:

Hira said...

I know what you mean. High school changed me a lot too. I'm starting my senior year this September, and like you, this past year has been a roller coaster too. I've changed so much! I used to let people use me, tried to impress everyone, be super duper nice to EVERYONE. This past year I realized it was not worth it. I learned to respect myself more. Learned who my real friends were and let the fake ones go.

"I think I finally found who I am as a person. I'm just having a hard time accepting it."
I can totally relate with this.

Oh and by the way, I kinda do care about this blog so please do keep writing! I think a lot of people can relate with all you go through, I know I can. So please keep writing :)

~Hira

Hira said...

Oh and I totally forgot (sorry!) HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! And may you have many more! ♥

Lydia said...

Paige,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! You're older than me for a few months ;)

Um, okay, first, people DO care about this blog! Why else would you have comments on your posts if people didn't care about your blog? People do care about your blog, and we do care about you. If we didn't care, we wouldn't comment, or even read it for that matter. And I care, so I'm reading and commenting.

Second, I know what you mean. I'm only a junior (I started a week ago), but I have seriously changed since I was a freshman. When I was 14, I was quiet, didn't care about anything, and depressed. I am still quiet, but there is nothing wrong with that. Now, I care more about my classes and where I'm going in life, and I'm much happier (after I switched schools). I have done many things I said I never would or could do. Some of those things are good things, things that have helped me, and some are things that made me question who I am.
High school, and growing up in general, changes you. It changes everyone in different ways. For you, it helped you realize that you are your own person, and that you can take the bad out of your own life. For me, it helped me realize that I am worth something, and you can have anything you want if you work for it.

What you said about finding yourself as a person, but not being about to accept it yet, I love that. That's going on my list of quotes :)

Please keep blogging. We really do care about you, and younger girls (maybe a certain junior writing this post) look up to you :) <3

~Lydia

PS- Sorry I still haven't replied to your email, I have had a LOT of work recently...sorry!

Alyianna said...

Happy birthday Paige!

Sorry I haven't stopped over here for a while...I don't know how I've gotten so busy. Reading novels for the college-level English class I'm taking...working on my book...summers are just as busy as the school year is for me, just more a relaxed sort of busy.

Yeah, I'm start gr. 12 on the 4th. I'm scared about my diploma exams already! It's sometimes fun to look back, but it's also weird to see how much you have changed since you were a freshamn.

Paige said...

@Hira- Yeah that's exactly what I realized! Awh, I'm so glad you love that quote and can relate to this post. I'm glad I've reached out to someone. Thank you so much for commenting, I'm glad you care <3

@Lydia- you just made my day, thank you so so so so much! I was a lot like you too. And I've done the same thing you said, question who I am. Thank you so much!

@Alyianna That's okay! Thanks so much for commenting now and always being a loyal follower! Good luck with your exams!

Lynn said...

Lovely post! I too am starting my senior year, but as scary as it is, the adventure is too begin :) Good luck and Happy Birthday!