Friday, January 21, 2011

I need your opinion for my new book!

I finally came up with a title for the new book I'm writing! I've posted about it a few times. I decided to call it "Flawed." I"m trying to decide which cover I like but I'm not sure.. so I need your help! Please comment and tell me if you like Cover 1 or Cover 2!



Cover 1 Or.... Cover 2?







Here is the newly improved pitch-



"Popularity has a price, it just depends on how far you'll go to pay it."



"Sometimes you trust too many people, and they don't deserve it at all. I've been lied to my entire life, and I'm just finding this out now. Turns out the people I thought I could truly trust, shattered that relationship like a broken vase. I'm stuck in the middle now, not sure where to turn, going insane.Now that I know the ugly truth hidden behind their eyes, I'm hopelessly lost."

"Dakota Wright thought she had everything. Popularity, a great boyfriend, the latest fashions, and incredible dancing skills. Once she leaves the dull Rexford High and enters The San Diego School of Preforming Arts, her world is turned upside down. She's no longer the Queen- Be of the school, and she'll go to new heights to get her crown back. Her boyfriend and Rexford friends aren't as trustful as she thought they were. And Dakota thought she was such an amazing dancer until she met the students here! Then to top it all, she discovers a horrible family secret that will change everything and alter her life forever. No matter how much Dakota wants to be perfect, she'll always be flawed."





And now.... Here is the prologue of Flawed! It still needs a little work but here it is! I know it's short, if you've read my work before, you know I like short chapters . Enjoy! Please comment and tell me what you think and any suggestions you have! It would be greatly appreciated!





Prologue

Snow fell gently from the dark night sky around Magee Hospital in Albany, New York on December 18th, 1994. All was quiet in the delivery room, where a new mother cradled her daughter in her arms.


“She’s beautiful,” whispered the man sitting next to the woman holding the child.


“Yes, she is. All the rough times during these nine months were definitely worth it,” replied the woman, already in love with the baby girl with soft blue eyes staring up at her. She was wrapped in a tight pink blanket.

The little girl was getting her first glimpses of the world around her, and her loving parents. Lights shined brightly above their heads and medical equipment loomed around the square room. Nurses began to fill in to check the baby’s health and record her name and time of birth.

A blonde nurse with brown eyes filled out the newborn’s information and gazed silently down at the child, while other nurses took pictures of it for the family.

She envied this mother so much. She’d seen the child before, in her dreams, where she had been the proud mother holding the newborn.


And each time she saw a beautiful new little girl like this, she broke a little more, but this time she’d finally cracked.

She wanted a daughter, now, and she couldn’t wait one more second.

The nurse scurried away from the happy new family and locked herself in the bathroom. She began to dial on her cell phone, after three rings, someone answered.
“Hello?”
“It’s time. I found the right baby girl. Bring the van,” whispered the nurse into the phone.
“Are you sure?” he replied.


“Honey, yes, this one is perfect. I’ve waited long enough and I can’t watch another one go. I deserve a child more than any of these mothers here, and I’m going to get one.”

“Ok, you have fifteen minutes. Just do as planned,” he concluded.

The nurse snapped the phone shut and walked casually out of the bathroom and back into the hospital room. She still had the baby’s birth information in her pocket.

She slipped on the other side of the bed where new mother’s IVs were connected. She slowly and secretly added some anesthesia into the IV, which would put the mother fast asleep. Her heart began beating hard and her palms were sweaty. She and her husband had planned this for a while now, but she never knew it would be so nerve wracking.

A few minutes later, the mother began to feel drowsy and she handed her new daughter over to her husband. Then she turned her head to the other side and closed her eyes.
The nurse sighed in relief.


As she stepped closer towards them, many questions pulsed in her mind.
“Should I do this?”
“Is there any other way?”
“No. I need this baby.”

She walked towards the man holding the baby girl and asked sweetly, “Would you like your daughter to sleep in the newborn room tonight? It would allow you guys to get some sleep.”

“That’d be great. Thanks,” he answered, handing the baby to the nurse willingly, not knowing he’d never see her again.


The nurse took the baby girl in her arms and walked swiftly out of the room. She gazed down into her blue, innocent eyes, and realized she made the right choice. This was going to be her baby, and she too, was already in love.

The nurse then grabbed her large winter jacket off the rack outside the room and pulled it over herself and the baby. Now no one would know it was her, or could even see she was holding the child. She got a text a few seconds later.

“I’m here, come out quick.”

No one stopped the nurse as she made her way to the back entrance of the hospital where her husband would be waiting. Everyone at the hospital trusted her. Too bad she didn’t deserve their trust at all. The hospital had terrible security, which made it the perfect place for them to find the little girl they’ve always wanted.

The baby still slept silently in her arms, not making a sound. She became confident this might actually work out ok. Now they just had to get out of the state and never look back.


With the baby still hidden under her coat, she slipped out the back door and into the cold. The black van was waiting there silently in the distance. The nurse climbed into the back of the van and then it sped out of the parking lot.

The two rushed home and packed up their things and began their drive all the way to San Diego, California the next day.
The nurse began breathing hard and shaking, she started to regret doing this. Then her husband patted her shoulder, “We have the baby now, it’s all ok. They won’t find us.”

They finally had the daughter they always wanted. On the other side of the country however, the true parents were heartbroken and depressed missing their rightful daughter. It flashed on the news for weeks and many searches took place.


No matter how hard they searched, no one ever located the missing baby or couple again. The police began to give up after a few years. They gave the true parents their apologizes and moved on to other cases.

For all the little girl knew, everything was fine and she was with her true mother.









8 comments:

Amaranthine said...

This is good.
I have nothing to say about the prologue, except "Please, write more!"

Mary Ashleigh said...

cover 1.

Paige W said...

Thanks Amaranthine! I'm going to post more of the chapters soon!

And thanks Mary, you're vote has been counted :)

(=*Brookie*=) said...

Cover 1 :) Love the prologue! Are you going to put it on ink pop?

Paige W said...

@brookie Thanks so much! If you see this reply, check your idol post, I answered you on there :)

Savannah said...

Cover one!
I love the prologue too. It's great! :)

Paige said...

@ Savannah- Thanks so much! I think cover 1 won, haha.

pink_becca3 said...

I like cover 1 too!