Monday, January 24, 2011

Chapter 2 of Flawed

Here is Chapter 2 of Flawed. Please let me know what you think! Constructive criticism is appreciated.

If you haven't read the Prologue or Chapter 1, follow this link- http://the828.blogspot.com/p/flawed.html


(Or just scroll down a few posts.)




“Stop bugging me Dakota, or I won’t call your father and ask,” warned Mom as we walked into our house after dropping Erica off at hers.


I’d nagged the whole way home to either call Dad or make the decision herself. If she decided soon, I could make it just in time for the second semester.


“Wait Dakota, if you leave Rexford, what about you and Eric?” she asked.


Whoops, I had forgotten about him. Eric Thelon was my boyfriend for the last five months at Rexford. He was the captain of the baseball team and more importantly, major attractive. For the most part he was always sweet to me, we fought once but that was behind us now, and we were happy. I hoped that me going to SDSPA wouldn’t ruin that relationship for us, because I wanted to go there more than anything in the world.


“I think we’ll be okay,” I assured her, even though I wasn’t so sure myself.


“And what about your other friends? Charlotte, Madeline, and Leanne will miss you a lot.” Alright now she was just trying to change my mind!


“Mom, we’ve been close since the eighth grade, just call Dad and let me handle all that stuff,” I said.
“Alright, go up stairs and do your homework and I’ll call him,” she answered as I walked out of the room. I made loud footsteps, pretending to step up the stairs. Instead I sat on them, listening quietly for my Mom to call him. She dialed his number and then it began to ring. She had it on speaker, thank God.


“Hello?” answered my father’s voice.
“Hey, it’s Leah.”
“What do you want?” he asked rudely.
“Look, I need your help in making a decision. Should I let Dakota go to a performing arts school?”
“Why are you asking me this?”


I knew why she was. She still loved my Dad. No matter how much she denied it, I could see it in her eyes. They divorced when I was seven years old, and my mother never really told me the true reason why. I knew they fought a lot, but I never knew exactly what they were fighting about.


Sometimes I thought it was me, and that I wasn’t good enough for him. Everything I did didn’t seem to be impressive enough for him. He was very critical and never once even said he was proud of me. All the dance trophies on the shelves in my room or making good grades meant nothing to him. I wasn’t sure what he wanted from me.


“Because I care about your opinion, Spencer, and I’m sure Dakota does too,” I heard her say into the phone.
“Well I really don’t care about her or what school she goes to, I have my own two kids to worry about now,” he replied cruelly.


Those were the same words he said when he left us that day. My seven year old mind didn’t know what was going on, I was just terrified.


He began packing up his bags; I dashed into his bedroom and stood next to him.


“Daddy, where are you going? Momma is crying,” I asked in a shaky voice. I didn’t know what was going on, all I knew was I heard something crash and my mother’s terrified shriek.


“Anywhere but here, Dakota. Your mother will be fine, and so will you,” he answered coldly.


“But Daddy-“I started, but he was already storming out the bedroom door, with the bags in his hands.
I collapsed on his bedroom floor and began to sob. It frightened me when I saw them fight, and I never imagined it would go this far. I just wanted our family to be normal and get along.


“How could you just decide to walk out on us? What about Dakota? She needs you and so do I!” screamed my mother from the other end of the house.


“I don’t care about Dakota! That girl is barely even my daughter! Get out of my way!” I heard his angry voice roar back. Those words struck me like a bullet. I’d never heard anything so horrible in my entire life. My Dad didn’t love me.

The memory of that horrible day hadn’t escaped my mind yet, and I was sure it never would. The words hurt just as much today as they did eight years ago. I felt a wrenching pain inside my chest; my heart felt like it had sunk, to never resurface. I clutched the silver ballerina shoe necklace that hung from my neck tightly, trying to prevent myself from crying. He had given me this necklace after my first dance recital twelve years ago, before a lot of the bickering started.


He even replaced me with two daughters, and replaced my Mom with a brand new wife, whom I’ve never even met.


“Please Spencer, don’t do this,” begged my mother.
“I’m not doing anything; this is what we agreed on when we divorced, that I’d have no part in her life. So stop calling me about her and learn to manage your own life. Goodbye,” he concluded sourly, and then I heard the line go dead.


I wished I’d never eavesdropped on this conversation, but I had to hear his voice again. That was the first time in six years that I heard him speak, and it wasn’t even directed to me.


Small tears began to form in my eyes and I raced up the stairs quickly and dashed into my room. A rush of emotion washed through me and I couldn’t control my crying. It felt like he had ripped my heart out like the bitter man he was.


How could he not even care about his first daughter? Was I a waste of life to him?


My room helped calm me down. The walls were painted light pink, and my brown bedspread with pink flowers on it was very soft and comfortable. My IPod touch lay on my bedside table, and across the room my Toshiba laptop remained closed. I didn’t even feel like bothering with Facebook right now. Then my Blackberry began to buzz in my bag on the floor. I pulled myself up and walked over to retrieve it.


It was Charlotte. Her smiling, beautiful face lit up the screen next to the words “Incoming call.”
I answered it and mumbled, “Hello?”


“Hey Dakota, I need your opinion on my outfit for-“she stopped suddenly,” Are you crying Dakota? Did Eric do something? If that little-“


“No, Charlotte, Eric didn’t do anything, but yes I am crying,” I interrupted her.


“Why? What happened?”


“I’ll explain tomorrow at school, but anyways, what’s up?” I said, changing the subject.


“I need you to help me pick the perfect breakup outfit for me when I go out with Jacob tomorrow night. People have told me he’s going to dump me soon, and I want to look good when I dump him first,” she said gleefully. She didn’t even sound upset.


“Are you happy about that? You don’t even sound sad.”


“I’m not really even into him anymore is all,” she replied. Charlotte said that about almost every guy she dated. She had a new boyfriend about every two months.


“Okay, I’ll come over tomorrow and help you pick something then.”


“Thanks doll! And by the way, tomorrow at lunch, we have a new victim,” she giggled.


“Finally! Let me know who and we’ll get started.”


“I can’t wait, bye!” she concluded and hung up. Then my mother knocked on my door.


“Dakota, do you really want to go to that school?” she asked.


“More than anything in the world, Mom,” I answered. I had dreamed about it for a long time, and I wanted to make that dream a reality.


“Then you can go, we’ll get you enrolled soon.”


My face lit up and excitement washed through me. I jumped up and hugged her.
“Thank you!” I squealed.


I’d have a lot more to tell Charlotte and the girls now. I just hoped they would take it well.


1 comments:

tywo said...

I will read Chapter 1, then tell you what I feel :). But, you write well! Very well!
I hope your days are graceful.


LOVE!