Friday, September 9, 2011

I've hit a dead end. Again.

I feared this would happen, and I prayed it wouldn't, but it did. I've been stuck for a while now, since the end of July. I'm so angry and frustrated at myself. But I just can't push myself anymore. 
I have lost all ambition with writing Flawed. Only 12 chapters in, I think this story is taking a large break. I am really upset with myself for kinda giving up. But, I just don't have the drive to write more of it, you know what I mean? This happened to me with my last project too. Ugh.

I thought the plot was strong enough, but I guess it's not after all. I am still in love with the whole mystery of this story and I'm proud of myself for coming up with it, but I just don't feel like writing it. I just lost interest I guess, I don't know really. 

I could say this is another failure. But that'd be rude to myself, because Flawed definitely wasn't a failure at all. It set some personal records for me. 
1. I wrote over 30k for it, which I've never done for a book before.
2. It got the best rank (Low 100's) of all my books I've ever put on Inkpop.
3. It got the most picks of anything I've ever put on Inkpop. 

Other than those record things, I think this book really helped me grow as a writer too. I learned A LOT from critiques I got on it. I think it was the best thing I've written so far. 
I guess I can call it progress, not failure. I'm still disappointed in myself though. I really thought I was going to finish this thing quickly. I guess it's going to take a lot longer than I expected. 

Do any of you guys go through this? I feel like I'm the only one. Have you ever dropped/ lost interest a project? Lost ambition to write it even though you love writing in general? Please let me know I'm not alone if you've ever done this.
I don't even know if I can call it writer's block, because I know what happens, I just don't want to make it happen, you know? And I don't have time to write, or promote it on Inkpop for that matter.

I went on today and saw the rank, it is horrible now. I wanted to cry. It lost a bunch of picks too. I just don't have time with school. 

I know a few of you guys really like Flawed, and I thank you so much for that. Your support means the world to me and it's so nice to know people actually like what I write. It's the best feeling in the world to me. So thank you to all who have supported Flawed. <3

BUT on the bright side of things, I have a new book idea! The plot isn't strong enough yet, I don't know what to do to make it exciting yet. I have the basic idea down though. I even have a cover, a few titles, and characters in mind. I'm scared to start it though because I don't want it to end up like Flawed. 
Want me to tell you guys about it? Leave comments! 

So yeah, Flawed is taking a large break. I will pick it up again some day when the inspiration comes (Hopefully it does.) Thanks to everyone who read it. Also, if you guys have any writing tips on like how to avoid dead ends like this, please let me know! Do you guys recommend outlining? What do you do to not hit a dead end? I need some help! 

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Amaranthine said...

Aww, I loved Flawed! It was really intriguing and exciting! I hope you pick it up again someday. :D

Converse said...

We all hut dead ends and thats why I dropped Strumming.


That doesnt mean you should give up on Flawed! I adore that story!!!! Give it a rest for awhile, but DONT give up on it!

You're in Catching Fireflies :D Which you made to show people that you shouldnt give up.

Marisa said...

As of now, I've been lucky in the respect that I've eventually finished the rough drafts of both manuscripts I've started. I flew through DTL's crap draft in five months. Now I'm in the process of completely rewriting it over two years after I started it. But PIME took me a good 9 months. I had that crap draft done since April, and I'm just starting revisions now.

I do understand what you mean, that you just haven't been in the mood to work on it. I've had those days. Breaks are necessary at times. That's why multiple projects can be good if you can handle it, because you can jump back and forth if you're lacking inspiration in one WIP or the other.

But DON'T give up on Flawed! Put it on the back burner, but don't drop it all together. You never know when inspirations will strike. You need to have the mindset that you will eventually finish it, no matter how long it takes. Don't force the writing when it's not there, just put the story away until you do get that desire to write it again.

Because there's nothing better in the world than completing that first rough draft, and saying to yourself "I wrote a book."

Paige said...

@Amaranthine- Aw, thank you! I hope I will some day too :)

@Converse- Thank you! And you shouldn't have given up on Strumming! Oh yes, I did do that didn't I? I forgot about that Pact for a while haha. Thanks converse!

@Marisa- You're lucky you've finished that many. I've finished one, but it sucked.
Yeah, exactly. I'm just not in the mood. I am kind if scared to do multiple projects, but maybe I should give it a try with this new book idea I have. Thank you for the advice, Marisa! <3

Alyianna said...

I've lost interest in projects so many times! I'm so sad that you're dropping Flaywed :( Please don't!

And, yes, please tell us about your new project idea!

Qui said...

I cannot tell you how many times I've dropped a project. Toooooo many. You're not alone in this. xD

Taylor Lynn said...

Absolutely, Paige - I have TOTALLY dropped projects before!! Usually for me it happens when I've got an awesome idea but can't get past the first few chapters, but it does happen. And I could see myself chickening out on "The Sandcastle's Way", if my mom hadn't kept me going from the beginning.

It sounds like you made some great 'records' for "Flawed", and so I definitely agree with you - even if you do put it aside and never pick it up again, then you should still consider it progress! And you should probably keep it at the back of your mind as a possible loose end to pick up later on. Who knows, you may still finish it!

In the meantime, if you're resolved to put aside "Flawed" (at least for awhile), then YES, OF COURSE I WANT TO HEAR THE NEW PLAN!! SHARE! SHARE! SHARE! xD

Momma Too Many said...

Oh, trust me. I've gotten stuck and I've dropped a project before. You are NOT alone. :)