I didn't know who I was supposed to be. {A guest post by Devin!}

"All you wanted was to be wanted. Wish you could go back and tell yourself what you know now."
 -Fifteen by Taylor Swift

Greetings readers of The 828! I would like to start by telling you a little about myself. Obviously, my name is Devin. I have my own blog, The Everyday Effect, by which I know Paige. For those of you who read my blog, you can tell I have formatted my post like I usually would on my own. On my blog, every post I write has a title taken from a song quote. The reason for this is because I feel like it is much easier to express my feelings through music, than any words I could ever find by myself.  Much to my dismay, I do not possess the talent to write stories like some of you. What I write comes straight from my life experiences due to my lack of creativity, which should hopefully explain my grammar flaws and lack of ability to stay on topic. Another thing I do on my blog is incorporate song lyrics from the featured song and format them in bold, so if you're wondering, that's what that means!

Next, I would like to thank Paige for giving me the opportunity to blog for her. I am flattered that she has invited me because I admire her own blogging talents very much. By the way, if you haven't read the book she is writing, Flawed, you absolutely, no question, have to! It's by far one of the best books produced by an amateur author I have ever read!

Now to the good stuff.

Today my goal is for you to feel like after you've read this post, you gained a piece of something you can use later on in life. I try to do this is all of my posts, and I don't know if it works all the time, but one can only pray they do. My goal after you read this post is for you to feel loved. I chose the song Fifteen by Taylor Swift for my guest post because I think it has many attributes apply to some part of everyone's life. Of course, I understand not everyone is fifteen right now. I'm not, and it's likely most of you probably aren't, but I think it's still a meaningful song, even if you're not 15, and you don't like Taylor Swift. Let's break down the song. (I'm only using parts of the song. All lyrics are being used in the order they appear.)
When you're fifteen and somebody tells you they love you, you're gonna believe them. As a teenage girl, I want to feel loved. My friend Jessica and Abbi had a conversation the other day about how this school year they wanted boyfriends. I was kind of taken aback at first, being that both of them are far from boy-crazy. I asked them why and Abbi's exact response (to whom Jessica agreed) was "Don't you want to feel loved? Do you not what that kind of intimate relationship?" In all honesty, boyfriends are great I suppose, but you shouldn't look to a boy just to feel loved. If one comes around, that's great.
Count to ten, take it in. This is life before you know who you're gonna be. One thing I always struggle with is living in the moment. Now, it's not always good to just live for right now, but you should enjoy life as you know it. In all honesty, take it slow because you don't know how much time you have left. Today could be your last. "Carpe Diem" is one of my favorite sayings. It is Latin for 'Sieze the Day'. Seizing the day means taking advantage of the time you have right now, and being thankful for it.
In your life you'll do things greater than dating a boy on the football team. I didn't know it at fifteen. I know not all of you probably want to date boys on the football team. To be truthful, the boys on the football team at my school have such big egos it's simply revolting. What this lyric is meaning I think can be taken literally, or interpreted into the fact that what you think is important now, probably won't matter in a few years. I'm not going to tell you to grow up and think more carefully about your priorities, because I would never want someone to wish away their childhood. What I am suggesting though is that if something doesn't work out for you now, odds are it won't mean a thing years later.
All you wanted was to be wanted. This kind of goes back to the first lyric. Everyone wants to feel loved and wanted. Things don't have to look bright now to be brighter in the future. I want to be wanted.
Wish you could go back and tell yourself what you know now. There are plenty of things I wish I could have warned myself about. That boy isn't worth it. That girl spreads rumors about you behind your back. Those pants make your legs look short. Let me tell you, I've had my fair share. The message I want you to get here is the fact that you can never change those decisions. What's done is done. If you can't fix them, don't regret them. The things you regret should be the things you can still change, but haven't. I do believe that everything happens for a reason.
I realized some bigger dreams of mine. Never settle for something, when you can have better. This goes for boys, grades, colleges, friends, etc. You should follow your heart, no matter how cheesy it sounds.
Abigail gave everything she had to a boy who changed his mind. Don't be stupid. Heartbreak will happen. Be prepared when it does, because forever rarely means forever.
We both cried. Choose good friends. I am fortunate to have friends who I can cry with. They love me so much, my pain is there pain, vice versa. Even if you don't have a physical friend like that (by the way, I will always be your friend!), you still have Jesus, a friend who will always be like that. A great thing about having Jesus as a best friend is that he knows what you're thinking before you even think it, and he always knows what makes you smile! Who wouldn't want a friend like that!?
I've found time can heal most anything. Like I've mentioned above, time will heal what you think is the end of the world now. I don't want to give the impression I think I know it all and I never cry, because believe me, I don't, and I do. Give it time and space to heal. Don't dwell on it, because you're too good for that.
You just might find who you're supposed to be. The fabulous news is, God-willing, you will all get to grow up into something fabulous and uniquely you. With time God will have shaped you into the perfect character He planned for you to be. When I say perfect, I don't mean you're going to be perfect. What I mean is God already has a plan for who you are, and since God makes no mistakes, you are perfect. Psalm 139:14 says, "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made." God made you perfectly you. As Lady Gaga would sing, "I'm beautiful in my way, because God makes no mistakes."
Now for the final lyric, the title. The big finale. I didn't know who I was supposed to be. I try to much to be something I'm not. Honestly, I try to hard to fit in with the crowd instead of just being myself. I wish I didn't care what people thought of me. One day I will find someone just like me who loves all the things I hate about myself. How are they supposed to find me if I'm hiding me away? I would rather someone hate me for who I am, then love me for something I'm not. I want to be myself. In reality, that's what I'm supposed to be, and the same goes for you. You're supposed to be yourself. You're not made to fit in. God didn't make clones, He made unique individuals.