Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Urgent critiques needed, help!

Hey everyone! So, I wrote this short story for a contest on Inkpop. I really want to win but I feel like this story needs a lot of work. For the contest, we either had to write a review of a book we want to read this summer, or a summer reading experience.

I chose the summer reading experience, because how are you supposed to review a book you never read? I mean it's possible but it would be hard..

So anyways, here's the link to my story on Inkpop, if any of you would be so kind as to leave me your thoughts and suggestions either on Inkpop or in the comments, I would really appreciate it! I'll read something of yours in return or guest post on your blog or whatever you want!


I threw it together in two days, because the contest deadline is July 7th, and I found out about it on the 3rd. Here is the cover and pitch, if you would rather not leave a critique on the story, if you'd like to critique the pitch and cover that'd be awesome too!

In the end, reading was always there to help her
get through, especially when she needed it the
most.
Ryan loves Isabella, or so she thinks. Ryan acts like a father to
Isabella, controlling her every move and always needing to know what
she's doing or who she's with. He forces her to love
him, whether she likes it or not. He keeps her hid away from her
friends and family, only to spend every moment at his side, which
can sometimes be very ugly.

When Ryan goes away for a week, Isabella is left with nothing
to do. A single trip to the library changes it all. One book
helps her discover what love really is, and that she should end
her abusive relationship for good.
Can she turn the page and move on?
***
So, as you can see, it needs a lot of work. So any critques and suggestions would be greatly appreciated! Thank you! 
(Those of you who have read Lauren Oliver's Delirium may enjoy this!)




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2 comments:

alaw said...

I can't get your critique to load, but there is this: "weather she likes it or not". The 'weather' is the wrong spelling. :) Otherwise, the little thing I read looks good. Could you please read my story on my Writing blog? I feel like it needs a lot of work...and I've just started writing it.

Devin said...

The story wouldn't load:( The pitch sounded great! Hopefully I will get the chance to read it one day! It sounds like a great story with a fabulous message.